Let Change Bring Out The Best In You

Change can bring out the best or worse in all of us. Changes can just sort of happen or you can consciously make a change. Either way, change is organic and can be steered, but not truly controlled as we can never truly know the results off any change until we finally get there. Sometimes, change can even make you say “fuck, how did I get here... No matter how many times you have told yourself that you can master your destiny or make your reality, you only find that you can’t control anything outside the moment you are in. Whoops, now that passed! See, you cannot control even a moment only the way you respond to it.

When you get down to it, you can’t predict random, happenstance or the moron next door. Since the beginning of the lockdowns and closures in March, I have noticed a kind of growing tension in many people I meet. It seems that I see and hear about more and more about people simply losing patience with each other. I too have experienced moments where my patience and response were not in line with the circumstances of the moment. I found myself allowing the anxiety of quarantines, closures and not enough social contact begin to dictate my reaction to some minor slight. I had simply forgotten who I was in the moment or spent too much brain power on the reaction and not enough on the reason why.

Now, more than ever, we need to nurture not only our personal relationships; we also have to nurture our social relationships and become better friends and neighbors.

I believe this all comes down to understanding that you simply can’t change shit or people! We focus more on the reaction and forget to see if it matches the intended response that we easily miss the needs of the other person. In these moments, we can only control our own choice to react and escalate or mindfully respond and deescalate. Taking the time to mindfully look for motivations behind a person’s reaction should dictate your response. Ask yourself, does it match the moment and intent and if not, just smile. That’s it, smile. When a reaction does not match the response, a smile can be as disarming. Accept that they and you may need a smile to bring out the intended response. Once the initial response has faded, you can get an honest response, change can just happen, and the world can be a more friendly and loving place. Do not react to the fear and anxiety that the last few months have fostered in some folks, instead be the friend and neighbor they turn too not turn on.